Show 14: Comparing Myself to Others
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Aaron Neville - Steer Me Right
Nicole Smith - Soul Salvation
Keb Mo - Everything I Need
Jack Johnson - Posters
Sweet Comfort Band - Envy and Jealousy
Doug Williams and Duranise Pace - Out Of Myself
This... is the road to redemption.... Yea and I'm Bryan Duncan... I'm an unhappy version too cause I keep comparing my life to somebody else's. There's always someone who appears to have it together more than I do. More talent, better job, better results, better attitude, closer to God... Unfazed by the struggle, but Me? I'm just broken... Aaron Neville /Steer Me Right (3;11) That's Aaron Neville....steer me right sweet Jesus... He is my supreme redeemer and my Higher Power...I'm Bryan Duncan Anybody notice how I'm complainin over a really happy song..that's because I'm comparing myself to others...
... I'm on the Road TO Redemption but Even so, I know somebody's doin better than me... It's just enough to make me wanna hate myself? And maybe hate them for doin such a good job... But hey, maybe they're pretending.
Everyone has highs and lows... And when I'm on the low end seems like everyone else is doin just fine... There is nothing worse to me than feelin like I'm in the back of the line...
Nicole Smith/ Soul Salvation
That's Nicole Smith... Workin on her Soul Salvation....
I am too but I'm one of those guys on the freeway that speeds up cause I don't want anybody else to pass me. That's probably why I've received so many of those fast driving awards too. But there's somebody out there who has more of em than I do so I'm not so bad... I'm lookin at camparing myself to others This week on Radio rehab...if you haven't figured that out
Mountains of unhappiness come from comparing my situation to others... Romans 12: 2 says Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world but be a new and different person in all you do and think. learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy...
Keb Mo/ everything I need
(over solo) Well now I'm unhappy some more cause I'm not content like in this song... what with all these distractions around... He sure sounds content with nothin' so why not me... Maybe I'm comparing myself to him even now...
Keb Mo there... With everything I need... At least it seems like everything I need....
here's a song by Jack Johnson called posters... You have to listen closely here cause he has an interesting vocal delivery... The song's about seeing what the world says you should look like to be loved... Trying to be what I see around me is a quick way to not be loved for who I am... How can someone love me if I'm pretending to be somebody else... Lean in on this one...
Jack Johnson/ Posters
(reintroduce the intro and fade for music talk over...
You're listening to the Road to Redemption, you can find us at bryanduncan.com and this show is under Radio Rehab... We're on this road because mistakes happen... Like comparing myself to others... I've heard that addictions... Come from a desire to be somebody else! ... Unhappy with who we are!... Is that you? It's been me over the long haul... So now that I've been honest with you maybe we could look at life out of step:
I'm reminded of a time years ago, watching my son trying to survive Jr. High School. He had adopted all the bad boy techniques, learned to like the proper rebellious music style and studied all the appropriate fashion wear in order to fit it... Cause Jr High is about fitting in you know... Except that the catch is you've gotta look like your not fitting in at the same time. Creates quite a schizophrenic personality for the players in this little drama. I remember this of myself too in Jr High... On the inside it is shear panic and self consciousness run amuck... You worry so much about how you are coming across no wonder you don't have anything to say to your folks!! My son was facing trouble there for a while...until one summer we took him to Hawaii and he got to see a side of life that was so wonderful he had no time to think about himself... After all he was swimming off the coast of Maui surrounded by a heard of wild sea turtles... Nothing to compare that to in our own life... He was not the same after that... Because he had the chance to see something wonderful... And I was reminded too of how much better life can be based on what I choose to make my focus... Jr High is a transition, and it's to be expected when feelings of how do I fit in show up... But in my case I'm not sure I ever developed a maturity level beyond Jr High... At least not for the next 20 years. I still think about the day I swam with my family among wild sea turtles... And I ask God to show me the wonders of his creation all the time... Even in the people he's created...let me see how they are unique... O.k. I mean In a good way... That might be a challenge in some cases. But why complicate the situation by making it about me at the same time...that's all I'm saying
Dear God, when I compare myself to others it sets me up to be envious and jealous...I become unhappy with who I am and what I have... Suddenly I'm not thankful for anything you've given me. I'm ungrateful for my own life...I'm blind to my own possibilities...because I'm wishing I was in someone else's shoes. Show me how to avoid copying everyone else so that I may find my own adventure and know the joy and confidence of being the creation you intended me to be. Amen
Here's a song I recorded in the mid eighties with the Sweet Comfort Band... I can still hear in this recording all the other bands we were trying to imitate back then...this recording is 18 years old. I'm still dealing with the same stuff
Sweet Comfort Band/ Envy and Jealousy
That's envy and Jealousy by the Sweet Comfort Band... Recorded in 1984 I was the lead singer in case you didn't recognize that young voice. I compared myself to everything I liked back then...I need to say There's nothing wrong with taking notes on what is successful but I kinda lost myself trying to be what was needed...and then they changed the formula...
I spent most of my life trying to be somebody else...In my experience I was no closer to contentment on the inside...the more I focused on myself the more unhappy I became.
Doug Williams & Duranice Pace/Out of Myself (fade at 3: +) thatÂ¹s Doug Williams and that's Duranice Pace...the song is called Out of myself... See now I can listen to how sweet that chord progression is and just flip out on how cool the organ player is without comparing it to what I do and discount my own style...See that really does feel better... How does that happen you might ask... Takes a long time on the Road to Redemption to get out of myself... But now I can actually enjoy others without having to compete all the time!
I hope you've enjoyed this show... Let us know on line at bryanduncan.com There's still a long road ahead but at least to this point I'm amazed at how my attitude has changed and that I can be reasonably happy regardless of my circumstances...I'm Bryan Duncan keep coming back...