Show 15: Relapse!
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Ashley Cleveland - The Needle and the Damage Done
Bryan Duncan - Step By Step
Joe Sablolic - Freedom
Eric Clapton - Fathers Eyes
Bryan Duncan - Jesus Loves Me Anyway
Dietrick Haddon - Anyhow
This is the Road To Redemption
Ashley Cleveland / The Damage Done
Hi Bryan Duncan here I'm just one of the many refugees on the Road to Redemption... But this is the only way up...and the only good road out... this weeks show is on Relapse... Brace yourself...
thats Ashley Cleveland with a version of Neil Young's song the needle and the Damage Done... (Over tail end) You ever been headed someplace new...and felt like you were lost because a road you were on got long and you couldn't see anything familiar... So you turned around and went back only to find out that you were almost there? That's how I look at relapse!
(Over Step intro) This is Radio Rehab, and I'm Bryan Duncan talking about relapse this week. I've heard it called a bump in the road... Just another pothole...but it feels way bigger than that...like a tornado just wiped out your house... Sometimes it's fatal...so let's just keep working the steps....
Bryan Duncan/ Step by Step (over solo) One thing is for sure whatever your dependency... You can count on it being over in the corner of your life forever staring at you.. smilin'...waitin' Like those imaginary people staring at John Nash In that movie a beautiful mind. Relapse happens when I forget that step one is still true... I am powerless over my addictions... I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature" say's the Apostle Paul in the book of Romans. "For I have the desire to do what is good but I cannot carry it out.."
That's Bryan Duncan the early '90's version "step by step"... Written at the beginning of my own road to recovery...and redemption. Ironically I knew nothing about the 12 steps when I wrote that song... Kinda prophetic though don't you think. I think my "higher power" was working on me before I even knew him as such...
(over freedom intro) This is Radio Rehab and Relapse is what we're talking about...and praying to avoid...relapse is one of the few things we can work to avoid that's actually a good thing. Cause the Road TO Redemption leads to freedom...
Joe Sabolic/ Freedom
That's Joe Sabolic... Song's called freedom... freedom comes with a responsibility though.... to make the right choices...like making that call when you need to....and recognizing when to turn your will over to the care of God... Because you can see that some things are more powerful than you are... The good news is you can do that again!! even if you didn't do that today. I'm Bryan Duncan and I'm only here cause I keep coming back...
(over intro) Relapse happens when I stop living one day at a time...I've got a little recovery under my belt I say to myself..(like it's some kind of deposit you put in the bank... Earning interest) I'll just take a break today... live on my past accomplishments...yea that's it!!
Relapse happens when I realize I'm not completely desperate like I was... And suddenly I get confused and I start thinking... I guess I wasn't really in that bad a place... I think I can handle it from here...and I turn my eyes away from my higher power and begin to look at myself as the final authority...
Eric Clapton / My Father's Eyes
Look Into my Fathers Eyes... That's Eric Clapton I played that in honor of step two..."came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity..." For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose... Philippians 2:13 I give my life and my will over to the care of God... Trouble is I take my will back sometimes... when life is not as painful as it once was...it's Easy to forget how it felt... Aah but I'll sure recognize it when it comes back... Feels like.... Relapse!
So with pain fresh in our minds lets take a trip through Life out of step:
I've got this great recipe for relapse... There's a lot of ingredients that go into a good one.... We'll call this concoction ... Mental Meal... It's like oatmeal only worse...but with the same sloppy sticky consistency
I'll start by taking someone else's inventory... Look at all the stuff they're doing wrong... Maybe I'll just write down a few of their defects of character... You know in case they get around to askin me for some help.
Then I'll add some pride... Because after all I've gotten pretty righteous recently...and I have some great insights in to recovery! And then lets mix in some comparison... Come to think of it, when I look around I'm in a better place than a lot of these losers... Then Add a pinch of blame too... I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you... You're the reason why I had to go to my dependencies in order to cope in the first place... I'll add a dash of self pity next... I've done the best that I can and I always get the raw end of the deal. I'm gonna just have to be good to myself... Cause no one else will... And don't forget isolation... This is a primary ingredient...if I can't reach out to anyone then I don't have to worry about someone questioning me about the meal I'm cookin up... Then top it all of with a hefty dose of entitlement...after all I'm worth it! Now be sure to Leave out the real spicy stuff cause this is a pretty bland and predictable grewel... Ignore the triggers... Like being hurt or tired or hungry or lonely...and No journaling, leave no time for improving your conscious contact with God... And that mental meal will set up real fast... Kinda like jello. Has a pretty good initial taste too but then it sours...
The real consequence of digesting this little meal of relapse is what I begin to believe about myself...I'm hopeless, I'm worthless... I'm just one big screw up.
Dear God, I forget that my life is unmanageable and I believe I can control what I really can't... Forgive me for trying to be my own higher power. Show me again how you can restore me to sanity and make me reasonably happy regardless of my circumstances. Help me return to one day at a time... Trusting that you will make all things right as I surrender to your will once again. Amen.
Bryan Duncan/ Jesus Loves Me Anyway
ThatÂ¹s a recent song by the recovering Bryan Duncan... On the Road To Redemption...it was written after many relapses in my case.
I've pulled several "u turns" on the road to redemption myself... My step brothers like to say "it works if you work it..." So let's work it anyhow... Deitrick Haddon/anyhow
That's Deitrick Haddon singing anyhow... On the Road To Redemption... I've been Bryan Duncan for the whole show... You can find me on line at bryanduncan.com and this show is under Radio Rehab... We've been Talkin about relapse... hey lets do whatever it takes to get that groove back.. hit the rewind.... lets remember what that groove was like...
If you're not in relapse keep watchin for the warnings... If you are...come back...this failure will only turn to insight for recovery if you donÂ¹t quit...you are not the fat lady singing... Throw out the Mental Meal... Don't give up... Don't ever give up...if you're still alive you can work it... And don't stop working it... Make the calls you need to... Stay connected...help others on the road... I'm Bryan Duncan a friend of the fallen... keep coming back.
This has been the road to redemption...on your transformation station...