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Songs:
Anointed/ it's a matter of love
Erin O'Donnell/ to be loved
Sting/ fragile
Jeff Lorber/ worth waiting for
Williams Brothers/ coolin water
Rufus Troutman/ amazing Grace
Bryan Duncan/ We all need
Transcript:
This is the Road TO Redemption...I'm Bryan Duncan and I know it's hard to believe but I'm not totally self sufficient... There's stuff I need that I can't provide for myself... I hate that...It's one of those guardrails that keeps me on the road to redemption when I'm out of control. It's the predicament of Neediness...

Anointed / It's a Matter of Love (4:33)

(over instrumental at 3;08) This is radio rehab and I'm Bryan Duncan and I don't have very many answers... But I'm certainly getting pretty familiar with the issues... So maybe I could just be your needy friend as we look at the predicament of neediness

That's Anointed...It's a matter of love.....or in this case this week, It's a matter of a lack of love perhaps...as we talk about neediness... Things I need that I can't provide myself You know... Like love and affection... human connection, respect, dignity,, kindness from others... (over next intro) And when my needs aren't met and I try to manufacture my own replacements... It just creates more needs... Like recovery, salvation, grace, mercy and forgiveness...yea, the needs just keep on comin'

Erin O'Donnell/ To Be Loved (4:13)

That's Erin O'Donnell singing 'all I really want is to be loved... And to be here, to be now, to be open to the truth, to be held, to be seen, to be heard... Basically what she's saying is we have a need to know others and be known by them... In a good way.

Sting/ Fragile (3:48) Neediness is tied to loneliness, hunger and physical pain... I'm born individually into this world... And almost instantly aware of my own discomfort from the earliest moments of my life...the response of a new born to reassuring human touch and relief from hunger and pain is easily recognized...we start off screaming!!!.. when our needs aren't met...it continues through our lives. we just learn to disguise it so as not to look too... Well needy...but when it comes to basic needs... we never really grow up...

(at 1:53) You ever thought about how many stupid things you've done... Just to get what you needed? Playin the fool... Or acting indifferent...or how about throwing a fit in anger and rage...maybe withdrawing into isolation... hoping someone would find you anyway... Or how about engaging in some form of risky behavior... Life threatening stunts... All because you couldn't come right out a say... This is what I need...too proud, too afraid, too worried about rejection, so to avoid looking weak we scream out our demands in anger as if we are not really needy....

Sting.... How Fragile We Are... Seems to me that my own compulsive behavior and addiction comes from not recognizing my own needs or maybe the fear that my needs will never be met...I give up, check out...

Jeff Lorber/ Worth waiting for (3:30) (talk over the whole song)

Of course just getting to the point where I'm willing to recognize my needs...maybe ask for some assistance... Still doesn't guarantee that I get instant gratification... Let your requests be made know to God...the Bible says... He knows what you have need of before you ask...

It is the predicament of neediness that makes my life unmanageable at some point...step one of the 12 steps is admitting THAT!...step two is putting my trust in a higher power to meet my needs...which restores me to sanity I'm discovering... I've always had a hard time asking my higher power for stuff ... I've never been sure of what I was asking for really... I just know when something's missing... Cause I feel the hunger or the uneasiness...even when I don't recognize where it's coming from...but I'm learning to go immediately to my Higher Power at those moments through prayer and meditation... improving my conscious contact with God... And with a moral inventory of my life... he begins to show me how I am made...and how natural my needs are... And as I reach out to others in my own neediness...I find common ground in that we are all in the same predicament...the irony comes here... I begin to meet the needs of those around me because that¹s something I can change... and I start to find my own fulfillment... Through connection, and community...it's a longer process than I was hoping for... But a starving man doesn't get healthy by gorging himself instantly at the local buffet table if you know what I mean....

You're listening to the Road To Redemption with Bryan Duncan... On line at bryanduncan.com and these shows are on Radio Rehab.com...24-7!

The music in the background is by Jeff Lorber...by the way.... The songs called "worth waiting for"...how perfect for this conversation...one of the roads to addiction for me was my need for a quick fix to ease the pain of noticeable neediness. It worked for a long time ... But the predicament that I was in got bigger and more unmanageable...imagine that...

(over intro) learning to ask for help... has been the key that opened a whole new world of sanity for me...connecting with others in similar destitution has given me the love God wanted me to have in the first place... And it dawns on me... This is what God loves... Connection! and the relief of my needs...

Williams Brothers/ Coolin' Waters (fade 3:oo)

Oh what a relief it was... That's the Williams Brothers... Coolin water...

So if coolin water spells relief to my neediness maybe hot water is the beginning of life out of step... Ever wonder how God could possibly love you what with all the stuff you're doin wrong? I find myself in that "Good/ Bad split all the time. Thinkin to myself... " I can't talk to God right now cause I'm being rebellious and defiant... My life is not remotely holy... I'm reminded of a time as a kid when I watched my dog chase a car down the street... Only to get too far in front of it... he got run over... I watched the dog I loved get hurt and run in circles howling...at that moment His behavior wasn't in keeping with the tricks and the obedience that I'd taught him... That's because suddenly his needs were demanding his immediate attention and he began to exhibit some unnatural behavior patterns... I didn't stop loving that dog because he wasn't doing what I said. Sure the word "stay" was ignored and then "come here" was impossible to hear because of the disaster he put himself into... Well I think God can see past our immediate behavior in the disaster we might have created...he can love us even when we are howling and running down the street in terror at the pain we've inflicted upon ourselves... He understands that our behavior is the result of pain... It doesn't always mean our heart is hardened toward our master and higher power...He still loves us because he sees the heart above the actions we sometimes display as broken individuals...

Dear God, thank you for not judging me quickly because of my unnatural behavior... The result of desperate need and the reaction to pain... You know my heart... Show me grace Oh lord... Amen

Rufus Troutman/ Amazing Grace ( 4:00

That¹s Rufus Troutman...with a cool version of the obvious tune... You've been listening to radio rehab and the predicament of neediness... I hope you are coming to believe that a power greater than yourself can meet your needs and restore you to sanity...until you do... I'll still be your friend ... Try to remember God is not your enemy!!! I'm Bryan Duncan... Keep coming back...

Bryan Duncan/ We all Need (3:20)

This has been the Road To Redemption on your transformation station...